It's raining poop!...Halelujah!

It is raining tonight as I write this. It is like mud is falling from the sky in little mudlets, and covering everything with a sort of light poo-brown.

And it's a good thing. Keeps the badguys indoors too, and keeps them from shooting rockets and mortars at us. Which,over the last thee days or so,they've done, ohhh..about50 times. By far the worst was two days ago. First was the dust/sand storm that took visibility to about 50ft. For real. Like you could see BRAKE LIGHTS at 50 ft. Not people, or cars, or say buildings, but brake lights. It was a "tad dusty", as they say in the UK where the rate a CAT 5 hurricane as a "Tad Blustery".

So anyways I am sloooowly driving back from another compound and came to a stop as I'm about to go through a vehicle search point. I'm in an armored car and am bopping along to the British armed Forces radio (What IS with all the trance/house music, anyways?) and all of asudden I see the guards all scattering.

Hrmm... Guards... scattering... hrmm... putting on flak vests and fleeing where I am... hrmmm

Here's a tip: When in Iraq, if you see the guards scattering, it's about to get nasty. I realize that one electroni tone I'mhearing is not actually coming from the Brit House music, but from All. Around. Me. The incomming alarm is sounding really loudly, apparently. Itonly does that when whateveris about to happen is goingto happen near you. So Ijump out of the vehicle and hear:

ZshhhingCRACKBOOOOOM!

I believe my thoughts were: "My word, that mortar sounded a tad close. Perhaps I should move rather smartly to get out of the open and join those fellows over in the bunker nearby."

However, later analysis from video tape makes it appear that what came out of my mouth was "hubbagubbuhUhAIEEEEE!EEEEEEEE!!!" And then I proceeded to hop around like a damn fool for a few seconds before running into the bunker. Where I proceeded to stay for the next 45 mins as the rockets and mortars impacted.

I think I asked my bunkermates if anyone minded if I smoked, but then thought that since two of them were already, no one was saying anything about it, and I was probably as large if not bigger than anyone who might object.. it was really a moot point,now wasn't it? I mean really. I decided I would have a cigarette and you anti-smoke nazi's can go get some fresh air in the MIDLE OF A GIANT ASS DUST STORM WHILE THINGS AR E'SPLODING ALL AROUND US!

In other words, I'm having a cig, and you can't make me not.

Yeterday and today were better, and right now, it's raining poop. Halelujah. Because with the wind up and the mud from the sky, it's just not weather conducive to rocket and mortar fire. So halelujah, bring on the sky mud.

Regards,
-Bouncer-