The Mudding

Today marks the first Official Day of the Mudding Season here in Baghdad.

It is today, because A) It rained all night. B) The puddles are already forming C) It's raining now and D) Because I Said So.

You have to understand that the land is flat, like a pancake, so there's not much drainage. You also have to understand that the land is hardbaked desert under a few inches of relatively light/loose soil. All of this means that the water goes and sits in these slushie/cement mud puddles that wait to bond to your clothing in crusty bits and pieces and will actually pull the shoes right off your feet if you're not careful.

Plus, going from that into a marble floored palace where everyone is tracking in watery mud pretty much guarantees that you will learn how to skate, or you will learn how to crawl to work, because it's going to be like a big ice rink. YAY!

Anyways, it's mud season here. And I hate Bank of America and Playboy.

A bit of a smooth segue, eh?

First, I have been trying to cancel my BofA credit account for at least a month. Being out here, from time to time you miss a payment notice or are someplace where you can't access email/internet. In any case, I was 3 days late on a payment (I usually keep my balance at 0 to 100.00 or so and pay off every month). And they immediately jacked my interest rate to 36%.

Yeah, time to cancel that stupidity once and for all. I not only covered my debts completely, I made sure to send them 100.00 to make sure any interest was covered. And they sent me a 100 dollar refund check when I "closed" my account.

Only yesterday I got a bill for 1.60 finance charge. and they tell me my credit line is still open. What part of CANCEL THE ACCOUNT AND CLOSE THE CREDIT LINE is NOT sinking into these people's brains? What do I have to do to get them to actually ERASE/DELETE/KILL/OBLITERATE my account from their records?

I am actually going to find a lawyer and speak to one about this, becauuse frankly, I am tired of the incessant bull. I am sure that even if I pay this charge, they will add interest on THAT, and I'll be paying ever decreasing bills from them until I go batshit crazy or find a way to send them 1/18th of a penny so they will just leave me alone and kill the account.

You know, it makes me wonder if there is a niche market for someone who knows the process to make 10 dollars an account to send whatever legal form letters required them to actually honor your wishes and close/shutdown an account when you tell them to. I'd pay it just to make the madness stop once and for all. It's basically a form of harassment at this point.

As to Playboy, I don't really hate them. However, they need to understand that A)I've never subscribed, B) Will never subscribe and C) Even if I wanted to subscribe, cannot do so via the APO system in a MUSLIM COUNTRY WHERE THEY GET ALL FROWNY FACED ABOUT THE NAKED WOMEN! Sigh..

First, without me asking, they "gave" me a "free" subscription. Then they billed me for it. Since I never subscribed, never received anything and never had any intention of doing either, I ignored it. They then sold this 15 dollar "bill" to a collection agency. Who sent me a nice letter.

So now, I have two large companies I need to talk to a lawyer about suing over their issues. The debt collector I'm just going to inform (nicely) of the facts, and ask them for a copy of my subscription form with my signature. Since they cannot possibly provide any such thing, I'll inform them the debt is fraudulent (it is) I'm not paying it ever (I'm not) and if they want to go to court, please inform me so I can contact my lawyer. And I WILL be countersuing for court costs and violation of the FDCPA.

Seriously, it's 1.50 and 15.00. Who cares? Thing is, I want the credit card account and line of credit to go away permanently, and I want Playboy to stop trying to send soft core porno to a military facility in Iraq (and charging me for something I never, in my life, asked for).

And it's The First Day of Mud Season Too.

I need some coffee and cocoa.

Regards,
-Bouncer-